KMG365
Yeah that’s right. KMG365. The call sign for Station 51 from the show Emergency! Fond memories. The show was on from 1972-1979. I watched it as a kid. Now I’m reliving my emotional experiences from it via hulu.com. If you haven’t been to hulu.com yet, just open another browser window now (how dare you would use this one, you haven’t finished reading my blog yet) and go to that website now. Trust me. It’s free TV and movies, but not user uploaded crap. These are provided by the makers, so it’s all great video quality etc. You just have to watch a Chili’s commercial or something every 15 minutes, no big deal.
Anyway, this Emergency! injured me as a kid. Okay, well I did it to myself of course, but it was inspired by the show. I had an Adam 12 lunch pale, but it was really all about Emergency! when I was a boy. That lunch box must not have been available, so I had to go to school with Reed and Malloy instead of Gage and DeSoto. I so wanted to be those guys. I really wanted to be Captain Kirk, but I knew that was unreal sci-fi whereas fireman actually existed. They were cool. As I got older I wanted to be everybody, I wanted to be the cops on Adam 12 too. I wanted to be a Sweathog. I wanted to be stranded on a desert island with a millionaire and hot chicks (still do). I wanted my family to be the Brady Bunch, and it WAS, well kinda. From ages 6 to 9 I lived with my mom, my dad, my two step brothers, my two step sisters, and for a short time OUR MAID. No shit, it was the fucking Brady Bunch, only it was the fucked up, dysfunctional, I was 6 and they were all teenagers, “Get away from us you little pest” kinda Brady Bunch. Morons! Anyway, it was only three (of the most formidable) years of my life. I have since considered myself an only child.
Jesus! Anyway, back to Emergency!
So in this house in the ghetto of Spokane, our garage was a separate structure away from the house. Easy to get on top of. And so one day after school when nobody was around, I climbed up there and decided the coolest thing I could think of was to say to myself, “Beeeeeeh Baaaaaaa Buuuuuuh, squad 51, engine 51, 3 alarm fire, 1407 Lanley Street, cross Street Crenshaw, time out, 13:02.” And then I YELLED, “SQUAD 51, 10-4, KMG365!” And I ran as fast as I could and jumped off the roof of the garage. It wasn’t until the exhilaration of midair flight that I realized this isn’t going to turn out well. I was going for distance rather than height, but with the roof being eight feet off the ground and not being old enough to have learned the Pythagorean theorem, I don’t think I had any type of sound strategy. Not that I even meant to, but there was an old mattress laying in the side driveway to land on. Cleared that by a good six feet. It was spring, so no snow to cushion the fall. I landed in dirt and gravel, another smart move. This was I believe my first experience with running and jumping off a building and dealing with the consequences thereafter. I don’t think I realized how serious a maneuver this was. I did still have the feeling of “bad rest of the day coming” as I was flying. When I hit the ground, the pain was unbelievable. Well, pretty unbelievable to the most pain I’d ever felt in my six years of living. I didn’t break anything. Oddly, as of today, I still have never broken anything. I’ve sprained EVERYTHING. I even sprained my penis once. I’ll give you her number if you wanna hear that story. So I did sprain both my ankles and my right wrist. I laid there for what seemed like hours upon hours, but ended up only being about 40 minutes. By this time I had been moaning so much that I moaned myself out and was just silent. My mom drove up, got out of her car, calmly walked over to me and said, “Whatchya doin’ bunny rabbit?” Not realizing that SHE didn’t realize I was hurt and thought I was playing some little boy game called ’lie down in the dirt’ or something, I looked at her with hate filled eyes. So much so it stunned her. “Are you hurt?” Now as a six year old, my lexicon wasn’t filled with good comebacks like, “Gee, what was your first clue Sherlock?” So all I could come up with was, “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”
“Stop screaming, where does it hurt?”
“Everywhere.”
My mom picked me up and carried me into the house to clean me up and repair me as best she could. Doctors were not necessary, although it would have been cool to go see Dr. Bracket and Nurse Dixie McCall, who by the way I somehow figured were in Spokane somewhere. Six year olds don’t pay THAT much attention to detail so the fact that the show took place in Los Angeles was lost on me. Whereverthehell THAT is!?
Mom wnated to know, “What happened?”
“I fell off the roof.”
“You fell off the roof?”
“I was playing Emergency! and I ran and jumped.”
“So you jumped off the roof.” Her first aid became a little less caring.
The rest of the story is kinda boring with her giving me some speech about, “Well, we’ll see when the next time you do that is.” Still haven’t by the way, although there was the period in high school when I progressed to jumping off 90 and 100 foot bridges and cliffs into the Spokane River. Smart. Fun though. Never got hurt, well not bad enough to report.
I stopped drinking my booze to write this post and now I think I need to get back to my booze and watch more Emergency! on hulu.com at 2am. They have Adam 12 too. This is so awesome. One Adam Twelve, One Adam Twelve, see the woman. Shit, I’d like to see the woman.
Anyway, Squad 51, 10-4, KMG365. Ow, I just got a little twinge in both my ankles and right wrist.
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Comments
Loved that show when we were kids too! I never jumped off the garage roof, but if we saw you lying there hurt, this is how the script would go:
“Rampart, we have a 6 yr old boy here. Possible head trauma. BP by palp is 239 over a million. Pulse is thready. Gave him WD - 40 with ringers and light a cane drip. Quick, get the paddles. Shocking at 40! Clear! Get the stokes! What’s that he’s saying? He’s asking for Nurse Dixie McCall! Cap, we need the jaws of life to excommunicate him!”
Yeah, loved that show!! Good times being a kid…. (except when I got in trouble for cutting off my brother’s pant leg when he fell off his bike… good times!)
Whataya doin’ my “good times” now. Yeah, that’s right, it’s mine. Very funny stuff Soc’_Mo’.
Oh the “Dumbshit Child” Stories are the bestest!!! Hahahaha.. I’ve got a couple myself;).. Ok maybe a lot!..
My mama didn’t raise no dummies. Okay, maybe one.
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